It only take three weeks to start a new habit and that means it also only takes three weeks to stop any bad ones. If you are still moping over your breakup and consumed over every little thing that wrong – STOP!!! We have to get up and start living again although it is quite typical to feel crushed for a long time after losing someone we care about. Now put the junk food away and get out of those ugly old sweatpants, it’s time to begin some new habits and try something new to mend your broken heart!

The very first thing we have to do is put an end to all the terrible habits we are doing now. Are you constantly checking Facebook or Twitter to see what is going on in your ex’s life? Are you casually bringing them up in conversations with friends you still share? We want to know if our ex feels the same hurt we do, just as we want them to miss us as much as we miss them. You need to make a huge effort to break these habits so you can heal. Whenever you are feeling that pull to check online or to bring up your ex, pinch yourself. Not lightly but hard! By becoming aware of these bad habits you can start to stop yourself from doing them.

Now that our arms are all red from pinching ourselves we need to start some new habits to help distract us from the ones we are trying to break. We need to begin to feel good about ourselves again so the first habit we should get into is complementing ourselves. I know this will feel weird at first but sit down and write 10 things about yourself that are good. It could be as simple as this:

My 10 best attributes:

1. I really look good in…
2. I’m also very…
3. My … really kicks butt!
4. I really love my…
5. I’m really good at…
6. I’m very…
7. I have great…
8. One of my best skills is/are…
9. I’ve very good at…
10. My … is/are my best feature.

Now every morning you are going to get up and look in the mirror and repeat these 10 things and don’t squint your face up as you do it, act like you mean it! You are going to begin to like yourself again the more you say it, because the more you say it the more you will believe it.

Next we are going to join something new. Is there something you have always wanted to try? Running, rock climbing, creative writing or learning to cook? Joining something will help you get your self confidence back and met new people, and you can learn a new skill along the way. These people are going to get to know you as “single” you, not “couple” you.

Trying something new and beginning new habits will give you something else to concentrate on beside what is going on with your ex. For 21 days try these 2 things and see how much better you begin to feel. Are you feeling more confident? Are you thinking about your ex less often? We are just beginning to retrain how we feel about ourselves and healing our broken heart takes time.

Dealing with break up pain and a broken heart, any way that you look at it, is not going to be an easy or enjoyable task. A lot of people incorrectly believe that they will be able to manage their heartbreak, only to find out that carrying a torch for someone after a love affair is a lot like grieving, at least if you look at the relationship as having passed on. When it comes to dealing with a broken intimate relationship, it is important that you look past the pain and find a way to survive even when things seem impossible for the time being.

Broken hearts and break ups can cause people a lot of fear and misery. Some of the people going through these feelings have no one in the world to turn to, and this is why people suffer so hard from heartbreak in the first place. Dealing with break up pain all by yourself can seem impossible at first, but consider how many people deal with love and loss in their lives and survive to talk about it. You too will be able to get over what feels like a crippling break up, but only if you are willing to deal with heartbreak pain the right way, and the healthy way for that matter.

Why is so difficult to get over pain from a broken relationship? Because the pain you are feeling when dealing with heartache makes you think that no one else could have suffered from this it, you feel like you are the only one in the world who has felt this way. It is critical that you don’t give up on the situation and instead try to heal yourself. Focusing on the hurtful split from your partner will not help your pain, you should work on moving on and getting better, because once you stop dwelling on your broken heart and look at things more positively you may find someone new and better suited for you.

When things become rough, here are a few things you can do:

• Spend time with your friends and let them help you get your mind off your heartbreak.
• To promote healing, focus on the great parts of your life and don’t focus on the negative feelings.
• To begin feeling good about yourself again, treat yourself to a day at the spa or go for a walk in a new place. This will help you get over the break up much sooner.

Your friends will probably dedicate themselves to helping you through this terrible time when they discover that you are going through something terrible. Instead of avoiding your friends, embrace them, because spending time with them and other that care about you will help you get through dealing with your break up. Everyone goes through a period where they are dealing with break up pain, because everyone goes through a breakup. Instead of becoming depressed or overwhelmed by your broken heart and allowing yourself to get stressed out rather then healing you should enjoy begin to enjoy yourself and mend your broken heart.