I think many women have false hope that plastic surgery could save their marriage. But who are the women having the plastic surgery completed for, themselves or to hold on to their man? Attempting to heal your broken heart is what you might find yourself doing whatever your objectives are.

The first to get plastic surgery was my friend Cori. Even though they have been married for 16 years, due to the shaky relationship they had a trial separation earlier this year. When their kids began to act up at school and act out at home they decided to give their marriage another chance. Since both of them had had affairs there was a lot to work through. Even though Cori’s husband, Will, was trying to bring the zest back into their relationship, he was over compensating and Cori was continually comparing herself to the woman her husband had been with.

Plastic surgery would help with their problems they decided as they were trying to work through them. Will hoped that with Cori’s new self-confidence that their relationship would get that excitement back where as Cori wanted to feel better about her body. They decided that Cori would get breast implants as this was the one thing on her body that she was not happy with.

She told me that after the surgery she literally had to fight her husband off and she loved it! She was fairly certain that it saved their marriage and that it was the best choice they had ever made.

Regrettably, this is not always the case, some men are frightened of their women receiving plastic surgery. One man, from Alberta, says he loves his wife exactly as she is, but she wants to have a tummy tuck, liposuction, and breast implants. She wants to have the body she had before they had children, he explains but he is terrified that she’ll run off and have an affair because of her new body. Are these acceptable fears?

To increase self-confidence, a lot of women get plastic surgery. If their current relationship is not working then the surgery could give them the confidence they need to leave it. But if the relationship is solid any surgery shouldn’t have any negative effects.

Another woman confessed to me that her husband asked her if she would ever consider having breast implants. Even though her breasts weren’t as perky after having two kids, she believed he loved her C cups. At once she became uncomfortable with her breast and as a result she decided to get the surgery done because she believed this what he wanted and it would make him happy. The seed was planted even though his comment had been quite innocent.

She thought she looked like a clown as she felt her slim build looked like a pencil with two huge balloons on it. As such the surgery made her feel depressed. While her husband told her she looked gorgeous, she became more and more insecure. Finally, with her husband’s full support; she decided to have the surgery reversed and a breast lift done instead. She claimed for the first time in a long time she feels like herself again and her husband was just happy to have her back.

Most research states that plastic surgery often does not help if a relationship is already having problems, has a history of problems, or if you are getting the surgery to please someone else. The surgery is only a short-term answer, as the original troubles are still there. In any case, the relationship will not endure if those problems are not dealt with before considering surgery.

This is exactly what happened to Cori. Six months after her breast surgery her marriage began to have problems again. While her new body and confidence had been a great distraction for six months, the same old problems and patterns began to surface and they were back where they had started – separated. Even though she is heart broken that they couldn’t work it out she claims she doesn’t regret her surgery because she did it for herself as well as her husband. She says she has much more confidence in herself and she know her heart will heal.

Plastic surgery done for the right reasons, and not to act as a “band-aid” to save your marriage, can have many positive affects. In any case, it is completely natural to want to alter something you’ve always wanted to alter, want to have your body back after having children or just to fight aging. Regardless of the reason, you have to be doing it because you want it, not to please someone else. You may find yourself trying to heal your broken heart as a result if you are trying to save your marriage with plastic surgery.

They smile as they turn away quickly after you witness him catching her eye. You’ve watched the progression of their “crush” with the long periods of time that they are both to be “missing” from a party and they’re seemingly innocent flirting and it is breaking your heart. She’s supposed to be your friend and he’s your husband. Can you forgive him for having an adulterous relationship and heal your broken heart?

Hurt and anger are one of the first emotions we experience when we find out our partner has been two-timing to us. Is there any way to repair the relationship, stop the affair and get past all the hurt and anger? Is the relationship even worth repairing and are you still in love him are questions you need to ask yourself.

If you want to repair your relationship then one of the first things you need to do put yourself in his shoes, why is he attracted to her? Is he attracted to other women because there is something absent from your relationship? The reasons if one partner has an affair could be due to the relationship being boring or taking each other for granted which is the responsibility of both parties. Even if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time you still need to make your partner feels special. A successful relationship has to be worked on and maintained because if it isn’t the relationship can’t grow.

The attention they receive from the opposite sex makes them feel so good it is sometimes is the reason why they cheat. If out of the blue some great looking guy is flirting with you, imagine how you would feel after years of being in a steady relationship. Suddenly you feel a little sexy, maybe a bit naughty, and with a little flirting he has made you feel things that you haven’t felt in a long time.

For anyone to take it further than some innocent flirting is no excuse. A heart to heart talk with your partner is what this means you need to have. He needs to know that you want to know what his intentions are as you know what is going on. Does she love him and vice versa? In spite of everything, does he love you? Tell him you realize that there are things in the relationship that you need to work on like not taking him for granted.

If you both decide to work it out and are willing to give 100%, be aware that it will be a rough road. Seeing a marriage counselor is a great idea and is recommended as they can act as a mediator so you both can get your feelings out and teach you to communicated properly with each other. When trying to enlighten the each other of one’s feelings, you both need to respectful of each other if you cannot see a counselor.

Also, one of the most important things you need to remember is, if you decide to forgive him, you absolutely CAN NOT throw the affair back in his face. That will not help build your trust up with each other.

You may have to move on and heal your broken heart if you find you still cannot trust him and are finding it difficult to forgive him.

You have a great personality, are good-looking, and have so much to offer someone is what your friends are telling you but you are thinking “If I am all those things, why am I sitting alone on a Friday night trying to heal my broken heart?”

The solution may be closer than you think if you are willing to be honest with yourself. Most of the time we walk around in denial, telling ourselves that all the good ones are taken, but you’re still single and you are a good catch, so all the good one aren’t taken!

Reason #1 – You never seem to attract the right people.

How do the people you are attracted compare to the list you made up of what you want in a partner? My friend, Belle, for instance, is a beautiful girl and has no trouble getting a date, but her relationships never last more then a few months, why? Belle needs that immediate desirability or she will not give the guy an opportunity. Belle’s attractions are based entirely on sexual attraction and have nothing to do with the guy. How can you build a long-term relationship on sexual attraction?

Some couples can grow from a sexual relationship to a more meaningful relationship, but it really depends on the people. The guys Belle is attracted to are not the kind who want to settle down or remain faithful, unforturately. The guys she dated and her list were very different and this is why she always ends up with a broken heart.

And your list looks like? Does the person you want to be with the same person you are attracted to?

Reason #2 – Looking for love in all the wrong places.

I hear constantly from my friends how hard it is to meet a great guy. When I ask them where they are looking they sheepishly tell me… a bar. I don’t know about you but I haven’t seen a long-term relationship come out of a chance encounter in a bar.

While there is always a chance that you could meet someone great at a bar, you’d probably have a better chance to meet someone at a coffee shop, a bookstore or even a laundromat. One of my friends met her husband at the bus stop, since they were both there everyday at the same time they struck up a conversation and got to know each other. They finally went on a date a few weeks later. They would not have even made an effort to get to know each on the same intensity as they did at the bus stop if instead they had met at a bar.

Meeting Mr. Right could be as easy as hanging out in some of your favorite places, what are they?

Reason #3 – You listen to your friends and not your gut.

Our friends’ only want what best for us and sometimes what they think and what we think is not always the same thing. I’ll never forget the night my girlfriend introduce her new boyfriend, whom she has been dating for awhile, to her friends.

Her new guy got so drunk and out of control, it was rocky right from the beginning. As the night wore on, he kept getting louder and louder, spilling his drinks and making my friend fidget in her seat. The first impression was not a good one of him.

The following day I told her, “You are worthy of so much better than him. That guy is a bonehead!”. She continued to see him and didn’t give into peer pressure as I know I wasn’t the only one who told her to dump him.

She ignored me and the others and I am so happy she did because he ended up being an absolutely amazing guy! He acted like a complete jerk that night because he had been nervous about meeting all of us so he drank too much.

If listening to your friends means throwing away potentially magnificent guys, do you?

So is the solution to why you are still alone right in front of you? Do you think you know now what changes to make? Can you make the changes so you are not home alone on a Friday night, wondering to yourself “How can I heal my broken heart?”? By submitting your comments you can let me know if there is another reason or two I may have missed.

He cheated on you and you just found out and consequently all you are feeling is rage and pain. What can you do to learn to trust again and heal your broken heart?

When someone intimate to us deceives us, we begin to look at the entire world in a different way. We trusted them but they broke that trust, so where do we go from here? Forgive them or dump them, what do we do?

It will make us wild trying to think why he did it as his cheating is a massive blow to our confidence. Were we not attractive enough? Not acceptable? What were we not providing in the relationship that caused him to go elsewhere for it? Even if you can’t forgive him, you have to explore what went wrong in the relationship and to do that you have to examine his affair.

One-night stand or an affair, which was it? A full blown affair could mean a number of things, and it may not be all his fault. The last little while, how have the two of you been getting along? Are you still having fun or are you arguing all the time. Are the two of you stuck in a rut?

Why was he tempted if it was just a one-night stand? Was it with someone he just encountered or did he know the girl? Again you are going to have to examine your relationship, do you think it could happen again?

Either way you need to open up the lines communications with him, even though you are mad as heck at him! Finding out if the relationship is something you value fixing or not, must be done. Be very direct with him and ask him to be truthful and why he did. Is he sorry? Does he want it to work? No matter how deeply it hurts you, you need to know what he expects in your relationship and is he getting it? If you think you can offer the things that he needs, you may want to give him and the relationship another chance.

You know it is time to move on when the things he tells you he needs you either just don’t think you can do or isn’t you. Neither of you are the right one for each other. If you pretend to be someone you are not, he may end up cheating again.

If you choose to stay with him – you have to tell him it will take awhile to build that trust back up and then you will forgive him. Don’t tell him that you have forgiven him and then whenever something goes wrong you toss it back in his face, you are not doing him or yourself any favors. You may want to consider counseling if you are having difficulty trusting him again as it is a complicated thing to learn to do again.

Trusting other guys is something you may have difficulty with even if you have chosen to let him go. By making your new boyfriends pay for your ex’s mistakes this will only drive them away, so don’t, be truthful with the new boyfriends.

You need to learn from this situation so it doesn’t happen again, or hopefully you can see the signs before it happens. You have to do what is right for you and heal your broken heart is not an easy task after he has cheated on you. Even if you do not trust him, believe in yourself.

When we feel as though our hearts are being torn out of our chests, so many of us do nothing because we are in a toxic relationship. You need to take a serious look at your partner and consider how the two of you are together and are you with the right person, in order to mend your broken heart. Are you just settling because you feel there is no one out there better suited for you or are you just scared of being alone?

We are inclined not to have faith in our own instincts or feelings the majority of the time. We justify our actions to make ourselves feel better about our decisions. We may know deep down that this is not how we should be treated but still we stay. Renee, my friend, knew this all too well. For 2 years, she was in a relationship with Josh. At the beginning of the relationship, Josh treated her like gold by calling her constantly, buying her gifts and taking her to fancy restaurants. They talked about what they wanted in a relationship and she was thrilled that he wanted marriage eventually too.

They would spend every weekend together at his house hanging out with his kids and friends and this made Renee very pleased. His life became her life and she stopped spending time with her friends. She did everything for him, cleaned his house, cooked for his family and entertained his friends. To be the idyllic girlfriend was all she wanted and one day with a bit of luck the picture perfect wife.

Then six months into the relationship things began to cool, he wasn’t calling as often and he would make up excuses not to see her. She began feeling insecure at his lack of interest. She was becoming suspicious that he may be seeing someone else, as such she began calling him to see where he was. The more insecure Renee became the more Josh withdrew from her.

The things she did were no longer appreciated by Josh. He would pull away when she touched him and he wasn’t ever there when she needed his help. When people were over he would completely ignore her and flirt with other women. Every night she would cry to him about their relationship or the other women and he would say something like, “We’re only friends, you knew I had a lot of girl friends when we got together” or “I’m not good at this relationship stuff, but I’ll try to be better”. He would act stunned that she even bothered to come when she turned up on Friday night. When she went home on Sunday night, she would be feeling depressed and wanting things the way they used to be.

Was Renee with the right person? Did she really think Josh was her soul mate? Should Renee have continue transforming herself into something she wasn’t or should she have put a stop to the relationship?

When in doubt of whether you are in a toxic relationship, try this simple exercise:

Remove yourself and put one of your friends or co-workers in your place in the equation. This should help you to look at the situation more neutrally and take your emotions out of it. How could you be of assistance to these people if they came to you requesting help? When you are not involved, it is much easier to give guidance.

Now, can you take that advice? You should as it is the best advice you could get because it is coming from your own gut feeling. So instead of justifying your actions, learn to trust your feelings or intuitions and it will be much easier to mend your broken heart.